Many caregivers have to make the decision to move mom or dad into their home pretty quick. They usually don't take the time to remodel or redecorate a room. Instead, they tidy up the guest room and when their loved one arrives, they throw a few familiar knick-knacks or pictures up and call it home.
Give Your Loved One a Home, Not a Room
The problem here is that it doesn't feel like home. It doesn't feel personal either. It FEELS like sleeping in someone's guest room, which can be uncomfortable for anyone.
Can you relax in a hotel room as well as you relax at home? Probably not. Now imagine that you have memory loss and you keep waking up in a strange hotel room.
Even though it can be very beneficial for their peace-of-mind if mom or dad's new room has familiar items in it, that doesn't mean you have to completely replicate the look of their old bedroom. Instead, sort through their bedroom belongings.
Choose items that have strong personal meaning and keep those. Don't keep ragged or stained bedding or moth-eaten curtains just because they are familiar.
Even those with Alzheimer's and dementia can adapt to new surroundings, but it can be a lot smoother if the room is still personalized. You might like the Pacific blue room with the seashells...but maybe mom wants dark pink with roses. Or maybe dad likes yellow plaid.
As they lose their ability to communicate their wants and needs, those with cognitive loss are still comforted by colors they love the most. So let them pick their own palette, and then work the other items in accordingly.
If they are able, why not take your loved one on a shopping trip? By listening to their desires for their environment (within reason, of course) you are respecting their independence. Ask for their opinion on:
- Paint samples
- Bedding sets
- Curtains
- Wall Art
- Storage solutions
Just remember, you can always re-paint walls later. In the meantime, if pink walls and red curtains make mom happy, then both she and her caregivers will be healthier.
Rather than standing firm on paint colors, save your energy for safety issues. As the caregiver, it is your responsibility to say "No" to fall hazards such as rugs.
When it comes to arranging furniture, there can be a reasonable amount of compromise. However, issues such as the placement of lamps should be your decision, so that there are no cords running across the floor.
You should also have final say on:
When it comes to arranging furniture, there can be a reasonable amount of compromise. However, issues such as the placement of lamps should be your decision, so that there are no cords running across the floor.
You should also have final say on:
- Too much clutter. It collects dust, and can make it difficult for a person to find what they need.
- Styles of furniture. You want something sturdy, in case your loved one uses it to steady themselves. It also needs to be functional, comfortable, safe, and easy to clean.
- Certain items that can irritate dementia: if your elder has dementia, then huge mirrors, shiny objects, small busy prints, things that make strange shadows, or perplexing knobs and switches can later becomes points of agitation. Think ahead, buy once.
What if your loved one doesn't want anything special?
This issue isn't mentioned much, but there are elderly persons who shrug off the idea of anything new. They may be very adamant about you "not spending money on them" or "not wasting time on them". You may hear things such as:
- My old stuff is good enough for me.
- I don't care what the walls look like.
- I probably won't live long enough for it to matter anyway.
- You are just going to put me in a nursing home in a few months, why bother?
These comments could just be part of the adjustment phase, a symptom of cognitive decline or a sign of depression. Discuss any persistent negative behavior with their doctor, but do continue with the room makeover, even if it is done slowly to allow for adjustment.
Here are some things you might want to add to the room of an elderly loved one:
- Sturdy, comfortable bed that is easy to climb in and out of. (include a safety rail if needed)
- Sturdy dressers or wardrobes that are easy to open. (avoid anything that involves climbing)
- Storage options that are easy to use, such as open bins or plastic carts with drawers
- Well-placed reading lamps (keep cords behind under furniture)
- A chair (not too low or too high. Avoid cushions that might slip off)
- Colors suited to their tastes and needs (bright colors for those who are depressed, soothing colors for those with agitation issues, contrasting colors for those with vision impairment)
- Monitor, bell or alarm to reduce fear of being alone
- Smoke detector
- Night light
- Contrast tape to mark the edges of furnishings that blend too well with walls or curtains
Things you might want to avoid:
- Loose rugs
- Free-standing floor fans or lamps that could fall over if grabbed for support
- Too many breakable items
- Too many dust collectors (runners, scarves, throw pillows)
- Complicated bedding sets (too many throw pillows, bolsters or ruffles that require fussing)
- Busy prints or patterns that could confuse or agitate someone with dementia.
- Too many mirrors
- Top-heavy furniture
- Photos or paintings hung too low on the wall. (easy to bump and break)
- High-maintenance items or materials (leather, velvet, satin, silver, etc.
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