Do the elderly still fall in love? Do they want to date? Here are some real stories from caregivers who have discovered the answers in a surprising way:
If you recently helped your mom or dad learn how to use a computer, you may think that they are using it solely for keeping in touch with you and those in their social circle. That's what Debbie, a neighbor, thought too.
"I finally talked my dad into a computer. He seemed so lonely, and I thought it would be a great way for him to talk to all the grandkids. Plus, he could find old buddies and chat with his Sunday school group. My understanding was that it was all about nostalgia..."
In a way, it was about nostalgia. Debbie's dad, a widower of 8 years, was pining for the days when he was an eligible bachelor who courted bevvies of pretty ladies.
"One day, he couldn't even grasp the concept of email. A month later, he had FOUR profiles set up on dating sites and was going out almost every night with a different girlfriend!"
He isn't the only one. Thousands of people age 50 and up are taking advantage of the internet to find love. Some are looking for life-partners. Others are looking for a good time.
Cammie, a nurse at a local nursing home, was surprised when a newly admitted gentleman resident recognized her and called her by name.
" I know you. You are Margaret's daughter!"
Puzzled, Cammie asked how the man knew her mother. Surprise was not her reaction when she learned that her mother and this gentleman had been seeing each other casually for several months.
"I called my mother, who is 89, and demanded to know what was going on. She admitted that for the past two years she and her friend Lora had been using dating sites. "
What was more shocking to Cammie, was that her mother's dates had often been invited to stay the night.
"You just don't want to think about your 89 year old mother having one-night stands." Cammie said. "
Thanks to seniors hitting the dating scene, there has been a major role-reversal between them and and their children. Gary, a part-time caregiver for his elderly mother, was bewildered when an online dating site led his mom to a full-time boyfriend.
"I caught myself telling them to be home by a certain time, asked her for the number of the place they would be eating...all those embarrassing things that my parents used to do to me and my sisters! And yes, when they weren't back by midnight, I thought about calling the cops or going out looking for them."
Despite the fact that their kids are worried sick about this new dating trend, seniors are enjoying their freedom. And not all kids are shocked or worried. Some, like Debbie, are happy.
"Being in love makes you feel good. A year ago, Dad was ready to give up. He didn't go out, he didn't care about his health or appearance. Now, he takes his medication, follows doctor's orders, exercises, and gets out of the house more than I do! I think the online dating sites did me a huge favor. They gave me my dad for a few more years."
Dating sites may not always be life-savers. But this Valentine's Day, thousands of seniors who would have been forgotten and lonely are now getting flowers and romantic cards from their secret, and not-so-secret, admirers. So, even though the commercials for all those dating sites may be incredibly annoying, they are actually serving a good purpose when it comes to the elderly community.
Of course, not all seniors will be willing to jump online and hook up a date for tonight. If you know an elderly shut-in, or just someone who may need some cheering up, take a few minutes to deliver a Valentine today.
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