Saluting the Generations--Growing Older With Joy

A joy of aging is holding grand and great-grandchildren

The Perks of Growing Older?

This weekend my paternal grandmother came to visit, and hold my new twin girls for the first time. As we caught up on two years of gossip and conversation, she mentioned a few health issues that she now has.

I'm never comfortable when people talk about their illnesses, and I'm not often sure of the best thing to say. Luckily, both of my grandmothers have only a few of the usual conditions that are part of aging--nothing devastating.

The difference is that my other grandmother is very vocal about how "awful it is to grow old", and always tells me how miserable I will be when I get older. She has never accepted any of the good things about age.

On the other hand, Grandma K. is more positive. During the visit, she informally highlighted some of the perks of aging alone:

• Not having to work a full-time job
• Being free to do as you please without social repercussions
• Being responsible for yourself, rather than an entire family
• Being able to keep a tidy house with no effort
• Being able to just go places whenever you want. 

But mostly, she imparted this wisdom: 

"Its not always fun to grow older, but you have to grow older if you want to hold grandbabies." 

Personally, I think that message can be taken literally. It is also a reminder to look at everything from an optimistic angle. There is only one way to age, and that is to die when we are young. When that happens, there is a whole future that is left undiscovered.

Remind the Elderly Of The Joys Around Them

When you deal with the elderly, you are likely to see a lot of self-pity. And they may even try to make younger people feel guilty for the fact they are less old. It may just seem like a harmless indulgence, but it can lead to depression if a person dwells too often on what they can't do rather than what they can do.

For example, a person who can no longer walk without a cane or walker may lament the days when they could run or dance. However, it is MORE important to remember that they can at least walk with an aid, when many others are less fortunate and are bed-bound.

 As  a caregiver, you won't have the time or energy to constantly bombard an elder with happy thoughts. Especially if they are determined to see the worst in life. Just remember that no matter how young YOU are, you are aging too. Therefore, make it a habit to notice the best things in life, and mention them frequently.

Sop whatever you are doing RIGHT NOW, and make a list of all the perks you can think of related to growing older.

I am very fortunate in that both of my grandmothers are able to see and hold my children. It is amazing to see and have four generations in one place. My greatest hope is that one day, I will be able to hold my great-grandchildren as well.

96 years and a few days between them