5 Things Caregivers Should Do Today

Caregiving is a big responsibility. You probably do a good job. But are you doing everything you are supposed to do today?

Without realizing it, failure to do the following tasks could potentially harm you in the long run. It could also strain your caregiving relationship (as well as other relationships). What do you need to be doing? What could you possible add to your already busy day?

Caregivers Should Learn to Say "NO"

You are a caregiver. Not a servant, not an employee, and certainly not anyone's slave. There are tons of "yes" moments and special requests in caregiving, and those should always be heeded. But there are just as many times when NO is the right response, and you have the right to say that.

This does not just apply to responding to your elderly loved one. This means you should say no anytime you feel the need to do so, be that to family, friends, neighbors, or anyone asking you to spare more of yourself than you have to go around.

If a request is not safe or not a necessity, if it is inconvenient or impossible, then there is no obligation to fill it "right now". You have enough to juggle without taking on unreasonable demands. You don't even have to accept reasonable demands if they are something that could wait until you have more time, more energy and more help.

Stop Feeling So Guilty

This is too common. A caregiver starts to take on all the blame for every issue.

"If I had just worked harder, stayed up later, done this sooner...etc."

There is only so much that one human is capable of doing. When caregivers have too much to handle, (and don't say NO often enough) caregiving can become so stressful that it leads to health issues. Adding guilt on top of that exacerbates everything, and leads to a fast-paced downward spiral.

Caregivers tend to feel guilty they didn't help or prevent something:

• I should have noticed the signs sooner
• I wish I had been there
• Its my fault this happened
• If I had known then what I know now...
• I'm not doing enough
• I can't make this go away

Stop feeling guilty today about things you cannot control. 

Caregiver's Need to Get Out of the House 

Even if it is just for five minutes. Even if you only go as far as  your own backyard. Just five minutes where you do absolutely nothing. Sit down. Breathe deeply.

If you can get away longer, that is great! Go to the mall. Go to a movie. Don't go to the pharmacy or the grocery store. Stay away from necessary errands.

This doesn't mean you have to abandon your responsibilities. You don't even have to be alone.

• If your loved one is able, take them with you. Make it a day out. 
• If your loved one is not able, ask a friend or relative to sit with your loved one for a little while. 
• If you just want to read a book in the garden, consider using a baby monitor while your loved one naps.  

You need fresh air and sunshine. But mostly you need as much time as possible that is not filled up with tasks and chores related to caregiving, your job, school, banking, household management, etc.

Caregivers Should Reward Themselves

Caregiving for an aging relative is a hard. You are at it 24/7. You may also have a job, a family, and other responsibilities. So why not reward yourself?

You don't have to splurge on a whole beach vacation or a day spa. Just find something, anything, that you like and indulge yourself. Order something online that you've wanted for a long time. Buy yourself some new shoes. Subscribe to a favorite magazine. Watch a favorite movie.

Caregivers Should Learn Something

You may think that is all you do--learn. You've learned how to change an occupied bed, you've learned the side effects of hundreds of medications, you've learned how to cope with sundowning.

But when was the last time you really learned something new? Something that challenged you? Or something that interested you?

A lifetime of continued learning has been linked to delays in dementia and Alzheimer's. It is too easy to caught up in a routine and never learn anything new. Even if you aren't learning, doing something that exercises your brain could help prevent the onset of dementia in YOU.

• Check out some non-fiction works from the library
• Learn a new language (at least a few words.)
• Increase your native vocabulary by a few words every month
• Pick up a subject and research it thoroughly. 
• Challenge yourself to trivia games

Above All, Just Be Human. Everything else will fall into place.