Do Consider Taking Your Loved One Out for the Day
If it is at all possible, taking your elderly loved one home for a few hours, (or out to a venue even) might be a more comfortable solution for everyone. Care facilities aren't jails, and most residents can safely leave with family.
Discuss the idea with members of your relatives care team, to be sure you know all of their needs. When planning the day, take into account what time they will need to eat and take medications. Also know that you may have to help them toilet, clean themselves up, and possibly even eat. Planning for this will give you and your loved one plenty of extra time so neither of you feel rushed or frustrated.
Do also plan responsibly. Events that might be fun for you, or for children might not be safe or enjoyable for a senior. Things that require long walks, climbing or being outside in the cold for too long can make your loved one miserable and might pose serious safety and health issues.
Not all residents can leave for a day though. If that is the case, then you can still bring the holiday to them.
Do Plan Your Visit Around the Facility's Schedules
Find out when meals, showers, and other activities are happening for your loved one, and avoid arriving during those times. Throwing off the routine can be stressful to your loved one and to staff employees.
If you plan on on taking your loved one out for the day, or even an hour or so, make sure the staff is aware beforehand so they can have them dressed and ready.
Do Be Respectful of Other Residents
Remember, the facility is their home. Keep conversations at a normal volume, remind children (and other adults, if needed) not to explore other people's rooms, be polite to all residents (not just your loved one), and use family friendly language when speaking in public areas.
Bring The Holiday With You
Its perfectly okay to bring a small tree, some decorations, and gifts! Just please clean up after the party. Take decorations home and store them after the holiday is over.
Keep safety in mind with decorations just like with gifts. You can't have cords and other trip hazards running all across the rooms, and you can't unplug beds and machines to make room for strands of lights. Be smart!
Say Thank You to The Staff
Remember, they are giving up their holiday to take care of other people. Smile, say thank you, and help make their holiday a little easier by following some of these DON'TS:
What You Should Not Do:
Don't Make a Mess
There are plenty of trashcans. Don't leave litter all over a room. If you need an extra garbage bag for food containers or gift wrap, just ask!
Visiting a nursing home is just like visiting a person's home. Be respectful of possessions and put things back in place when you leave so your loved one can find them easily.
Don't Create a Safety Hazard
Don't block hallways or access to supply closets, rooms, toilets, etc. Don't let children run through the halls, they could accidentally bump into someone and cause a fall.
If you bring electronics, make sure they are plugged in where the cords are out of the way, and not where they impede the aides and nurses.
Don't Make Your Loved One Sick
Yes, its a holiday, and we all want to make our relatives happy. But sneaking them a little treat that they are not supposed to have can be dangerous.
Respect the food restrictions that are in place to keep your loved one healthy, and bring appropriate treats. Also, if your loved one has issues like dementia, and may not be able to read or understand labels anymore, please be careful about bringing non-edible gifts that look like food or drink.
Think things like food scented potpourri or soaps that look like candy or desserts; lotions or shampoos that look and smell like fruit drinks, etc. Yes they might look cute. But yes, they can also be confusing and dangerous.
Don't Complain About Little Things
It is the holidays. Unless you have a really legitimate reason to complain, save it for later.
Don't stress your loved one with complaints about your daily life. Don't stress employees with complaints about minor issues in the facility such as noise or the way dinner smells.
Remember, this is your loved one's home, and the staff take care of them on a daily basis. If you are spending the holiday visit berating the employees, then you are stressing your relative too.
If there is a serious safety issue, then of course you should bring it up. But really, we had a visiting family member once launch into a tirade because they personally didn't like the smell of fish fingers cooking.
Don't Endanger The Elderly
Do NOT bring gifts to the nursing home that can be dangerous. Do not give gifts to other residents that could harm them.
Ask before you give gifts to make sure you aren't causing more harm than good. While it usually depends on the recipient, there are some common sense rules to follow. Try to avoid gifts that are:
- Sharp
- Flammable
- Toxic
- A trip or slip risk
- A living animal
Visiting For the Holidays Should Be Fun
Keep the holiday fun for yourself, your loved one, the long-term care staff, and other nursing home residents.
Its okay to laugh, to sing, and to bring as much holiday cheer as possible. Just be safe, practical, and courteous while doing so.
(Remember, these basic rules should be followed any day of the year. )
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