I Don't Remember 9/11!

A Bright Side to Alzheimer's Disease?

Last year, Meryl was called to the nursing home, where the nurses were having trouble calming down her 91 year old mother, Alice.

When Meryl arrived, she found nursing staff trying to coax Alice out of a closet, where she was attempting to barricade herself. Getting down on her hands and knees, Meryl crept into Alice's cave.

"Hey mom. This is a nice little room you have here."

"Its safe in here." Alice whispered, wringing her hands.

"Yes. It seems nice and safe. Are you hiding in here?"

"Yes. I'm hiding."

"Can you tell me why you are hiding?"

Alice suffered from Alzheimer's, and some days she could communicate better than others. Meryl wasn't sure she would get a good response.

"We are being attacked."

"We are? Who is attacking you, mom?"

"We are ALL BEING ATTACKED. You need to get in here with me. Where is the baby?"

"Mom, Brian is in college now. He's all grown up. What makes you think we are being attacked? Did the nurses scare you?"

"I saw it on television. Someone bombed us. They blew up...blew up...some state. I can't remember."

"Oh, no Mom. Its okay. Today is 9/11."

Alice grew more agitated.

"I can't remember 9/11!" she wailed. "What is it?"

Meryl sat in the closet and explained to Alice how the world had ground to a halt 12 years before. It took her several hours to convince her mother that the images on television where old footage.


"Sitting in that closet with my mother was one of the hardest things I've done. When 9/11 happened in 2001, when it really happened, Mom was the one who called ME. I'll never forget what she said to me. 'Meryl, someone has flown a plane into some buildings in New York. Turn your television on! No one knows if there will be another attack--but whatever happens, please remember that I love you! 

I can't remember now if I told her I loved her back. By that time I had the TV on and was seeing...devastation. I probably just said OK, mom. When I was in the closet, I realized that 'whatever' had happened. Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We had to make a lot of changes to our family. But it was okay. Mom still loved me. Even like she was, she wanted to keep me safe. 

It was hard, but at the same time, I was happy. For once, I saw the good side to this disease that was stealing my mother. She had no memory of the horrors of 9/11. I wish that was something I could say for myself as well." 
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Thank you Meryl, for sharing your 9/11 story on Elder Care Issues. 

Caregiving Humor Moment #17

Elder Care Issues _Caregiving Humor 

Whether you are a professional or an at-home caregiver, it is so easy to get into the habit of helping others. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing?

Sometimes, it is just plain awkward. So have a laugh at yourself if you've ever done something like this!

The Perks of Aging

In a previous post, I highlighted a reason to celebrate growing older. Today, I am sharing 14 perks of aging.

If you are feeling old today or know an older person who tends to complain too much about the negative parts of growing aging--review this list and celebrate all the stages of your life! These were shared by people from 20 to 100 years old, and reveal what they enjoy about aging, or what they look forward too as the years pass:


1. Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren

Elder Care Issues Has The Blues!

Did you notice something different? This blog has gone blue! Every site can benefit from the occasional makeover, but blue rather than the old brown and grey version?

We all get the blues sometimes, and caregivers are especially prone to depression and melancholy. But blue stands for much more than just sadness. Here are some reasons why blue is important for caregivers:

Dementia--It is Okay to Laugh (Guest Post)

Today's guest post is by a caregiver. She would like to be known anonymously as "P.J." Thank you P.J. for sharing this with us!

What's So Funny About Dementia? 

I can already feel your indignation. So let me say this:

There is nothing funny about dementia. However, dementia can be funny. 

To prove this, let me tell you my story...

Five years ago, my brother and I began noticing that our mother was acting "weird". She would stammer around trying to recall our names. She stayed home more than usual. Her flowers weren't watered.

As time went by, things got a little worse. She forgot to pay a bill. She left the stove on while she took a shower. She didn't recognize her neighbor of 14 years when she met her in the grocery store.

We all have days like that, and Mom was always a little absent-minded. But eventually we had to admit to ourselves that the worst had happened...

5 Snack Tray Ideas for the Elderly

Keeping Up Weight and Energy in the Elderly

"I'm not hungry. I hate fish. This tastes awful." 

This was spoken by an elderly woman who had not eaten in several hours, and who loved fish. Sadly, this is not uncommon. As people age, the tastebuds can deteriorate, as can the sense of smell. This can lead to food tasting bland and "awful", no matter how seasoned and delicious it may be.

Maintaining proper weight can be very difficult for some. When loss of appetite is a daily struggle, it can be hard not only to keep the weight on, but to take in the appropriate amount of nutrients each day, as well.

If your loved one suddenly becomes irritable or disoriented, or has issues with slurred speech, you might naturally think the worst. However, these can simply be the side effects of low blood sugar from improper diet. Other signs might include discomfort, grogginess, sleepiness, weakness, or vertigo.

In those with dementia, hunger may not be communicated. It is important to keep some snacks on hand for fast access when your loved one needs some calories quickly.

For an adult with no dietary restrictions, a snack tray can be a helpful addition to your daily schedule. It can be specifically tailored to your loved one's needs and likes, but here are 5 ideas for healthy snack tray combinations to get you started:

Saluting the Generations--Growing Older With Joy

A joy of aging is holding grand and great-grandchildren

The Perks of Growing Older?

This weekend my paternal grandmother came to visit, and hold my new twin girls for the first time. As we caught up on two years of gossip and conversation, she mentioned a few health issues that she now has.

I'm never comfortable when people talk about their illnesses, and I'm not often sure of the best thing to say. Luckily, both of my grandmothers have only a few of the usual conditions that are part of aging--nothing devastating.

The difference is that my other grandmother is very vocal about how "awful it is to grow old", and always tells me how miserable I will be when I get older. She has never accepted any of the good things about age.

On the other hand, Grandma K. is more positive. During the visit, she informally highlighted some of the perks of aging alone:

• Not having to work a full-time job
• Being free to do as you please without social repercussions
• Being responsible for yourself, rather than an entire family
• Being able to keep a tidy house with no effort
• Being able to just go places whenever you want. 

But mostly, she imparted this wisdom: 

"Its not always fun to grow older, but you have to grow older if you want to hold grandbabies." 

Personally, I think that message can be taken literally. It is also a reminder to look at everything from an optimistic angle. There is only one way to age, and that is to die when we are young. When that happens, there is a whole future that is left undiscovered.

Remind the Elderly Of The Joys Around Them

When you deal with the elderly, you are likely to see a lot of self-pity. And they may even try to make younger people feel guilty for the fact they are less old. It may just seem like a harmless indulgence, but it can lead to depression if a person dwells too often on what they can't do rather than what they can do.

For example, a person who can no longer walk without a cane or walker may lament the days when they could run or dance. However, it is MORE important to remember that they can at least walk with an aid, when many others are less fortunate and are bed-bound.

 As  a caregiver, you won't have the time or energy to constantly bombard an elder with happy thoughts. Especially if they are determined to see the worst in life. Just remember that no matter how young YOU are, you are aging too. Therefore, make it a habit to notice the best things in life, and mention them frequently.

Sop whatever you are doing RIGHT NOW, and make a list of all the perks you can think of related to growing older.

I am very fortunate in that both of my grandmothers are able to see and hold my children. It is amazing to see and have four generations in one place. My greatest hope is that one day, I will be able to hold my great-grandchildren as well.

96 years and a few days between them

Weird September Holidays You Can Celebrate With the Elderly

Caregiving doesn't have to be serious all the time. There are plenty of opportunities to have fun with your new role.

September is here, and it is full of some of the wildest, weirdest holidays. Why not take advantage of some of the following events? Share them with an elderly loved one and start a new tradition:

Back-to-School Part II How the Elderly Can Help With Homework

If you are a full time caregiver and a parent of younger children, you may find evenings to be overwhelming. Especially when it comes time to help out with homework.

The great news is, this is something your elderly loved one can do, too. Not only can it give you a little extra time to hop in a shower or tackle a task that's been waiting all day--it is a wonderful bonding opportunity for children and their grandparent/great-grandparents.

When the elderly move in with their children or grandchildren, they often suffer depression if  they no longer feel as useful as when they were younger and independent. Perhaps a physical ailment keeps them from assisting with chores now, or another condition makes it difficult for them to pay their own bills, drive, or care for themselves.

Lending a helping hand at history or math can be a great way to help the elderly feel useful. Plus, when they are using their thinking skills, they are battling dementia.

Set Up A Work Area

To help make homework time easier for everyone, have a designated area where kids and the elderly can sit comfortably. Make sure it is easy for two or more people to sit at the table or desk. Provide good lighting.

Keep all supplies that are used frequently (scratch paper, calculator, ruler, note cards, pens and pencils, high-lighter pens, etc.) nearby. This will save time. You might also include a strong magnifying glass for those who have problems reading small text.

Color coded bins labeled with large letters and numbers can make it easier for everyone to find what they need. It also serves as a reminder to put things back up when the session is over.

Join In

Although it is a great idea to use a few minutes of this time to do something for yourself, try to join in as often as possible too. You can supervise, join in discussions, keep everyone on topic, help create notecards or posters, etc. You will be exercising your brain too.

While Grandma or Grandpa is helping color a worksheet, solve a puzzle, or hold up flashcards, you can search online for free printable worksheets. Print these ahead for the week for younger children, or as needed to supplement homework brought in by older children.

Delegate 

Depending on the age of your elder, or their level of education, you may have to delegate certain homework help to them. For example, they may not be familiar with certain subjects that were not required when they were in high school. 

Here are some homework tasks that are fun and easy to help out with: 

• Flashcards--Great even for elders with disabilities. Even older children can benefit from flash cards. Just make cards appropriate for the age and subject. 

• Maps and Geography--Especially fun if there are first-hand stories about those places. 

• History--Again, first hand experience can be very helpful. 

• Counting

• Money Skills

• Telling Time

• Spelling Words

• Vocabulary

• Colors and Shapes

• Math

• Trivia Quizzes

Use Special SkillsTo Help With Visualization

Did Grandpa love woodworking? Provide materials for a small project (if safe and possible). It is much easier to learn angles, measurements and basic math when seeing these numbers put to use. The same goes for fractions in the kitchen.

If Grandma was a master gardener, maybe she can pitch in on biology lessons. It is easy to turn a person's hobbies into a learning experience.

Careers can also be used to help. What did your elders do? All of the skills they used on the job can be used now to help with homework. There are also valuable life skills to be tapped. Gramma worked as a bank teller? She can help with money counting, and skills such as balancing a check book.

Grandpa was an electrician? There is a science lesson just waiting to happen!

Live and Learn Together

Keeping it all together when an elder comes to stay can be hard for everyone. There is a lot of adjustment. For kids, it can be like suddenly having a new sibling that takes up most of mom and dad's time. By finding simple ways for elders to take part in family activities, without having to plan and schedule new events specifically for them, you can help keep things on track. And of course, having that extra set of hands can really help you, the caregiver, out at the end of a busy day!

Use Back-to-School Tactics to Battle Dementia

Can You Use Back to School Time to Help The Elderly?

If you have a child, then this time of the year is probably a whirlwind of school supply bargains, class schedules and healthy lunch ideas. You are thinking about sharpening pencils and sharpening young minds.

But are you missing a great opportunity to help your elderly loved one sharpen their mind? Earlier this year, I wrote an article about how Montessori Methods are being employed to improve dementia. Your elder doesn't have to buy a back pack to get the most out of the school year. You can help improve brain function and memory at home with these simple tips..,